November 3, 2011

lessons learned

In the 3.5 months that I've been a Mom I have definitely learned several lessons! All, of course, learned the hard way & never the easy way.  

Why would parenting be easy anyways? Pshhh!

Any being the gracious person I am, I have decided to go ahead and warn you of these lessons so when you have a new baby yourself, you can just bypass these and pretend that you're really really smart!

Because I'm awesome like that.

You're welcome.

Ahem. 

Lesson #1- When you're still in the hospital after pushing your little meatball out, sending the baby to the nursery doesn't guarantee that you'll be getting "a good nights rest before going home with the babe".  No no no NO! You'll have people coming in every hour or so checking your blood pressure and taking your temperature, room service coming in to Swiffer the floors at 4 am, and the cafeteria calling you at 6 am SHARP to remind you to order your breakfast.  Which, by the way, will be nice and cold by the time they actually make it to your room.  The best part of it all though is when the nurse comes in every few hours to push on your stomach and check your pad...if you know what I'm sayin'.

Lesson #2- If you breastfeed then you know how badly it hurts in the beginning.  I can't tell you how many nurses and lactation consultants told me that "if it hurts you're doing it wrong".  I mean, there's only SO many ways to put a boob in your childs mouth and feed it.  

It hurts. Just trust me. 

Or maybe you shouldn't trust me because I breastfed for a total of 43 seconds and decided I was over it.

Lesson #3- Don't be too paranoid about everything.  I try really hard to not hover over Presley and worry about everything.  Granted, she's not mobile yet so I may eat my words later.  But at this point in her life I try not to worry about everything.  If she stays up later than usual one night, no big deal. She'll sleep when she's ready.  If she's crying because she is hungry or wants her diaper changed, I don't drop every single thing I am doing and run to her rescue.  If I'm doing the dishes or folding laundry I will finish that and then take care of her. That one sounds cruel, but honestly when's the last time you heard about a baby starving to death or something happening to a baby for having a wet diaper on for 5 minutes too long?  Exactly.

Lesson #4- Never Google for parenting advice! EVER! Because that will bring up Yahoo! Answers and you all KNOW how that ends up.  Every mother thinks they know ev-ery-thing about everything when it comes to parenting.  If you want to try something with your baby that others say you shouldn't do...do what you want.  I decided (before going to the pedi and her telling me it was okay) to give P-Nasty rice cereal at only a few weeks old.  My Mom gave me and my brothers cereal at about 2 weeks old....

....and look how awesomely perfect and smart I turned out!!!!!!!!!!!

**crickets chirping**

Anywhoozle.  Do what you think is best for your little nugget and don't worry about what other people have to say.

Lesson #5- If you want your baby to sleep through the night then read the Happiest Baby on the Block.  I borrowed this book from a friend and the second I followed the 5 S's (swaddling, sucking, sush'ing, side/stomach lying, and swing) that's when P started sleeping all night.  And my definition of "all night" was not unrealistic..we're talking a 6-7 hour stretch.

Lesson #6- If your child likes bath time, keep them in there until they start to get fussy and want out.  We start our night time routine around 7:00 and she is usually very fussy until she is asleep, it's not a glorious time in our house once she's ready for bed.  But, we get a good 20-30 minutes to pass by putting P in the bath every night.  She loves a bath and I will refill her bath water as many times as it takes as long as she's still splashing around and enjoying it.  Because once she's out...you better be on your A game and have the cereal bottle ready with her lullaby music on..because she will scream a bloody murder scream that I'm sure can bust an eardrum.  

Lesson #7- Staring at your child will not make them go to sleep any faster.  I swear, sometimes I feel like Presley and I have the worlds longest staring contest at night time.  I just think the harder I stare at her, the sooner she will shut her eyes and go to sleep.  Because by that point at night I just want her to GO. TO. SLEEP! 

The staring doesn't work, y'all.  It just dries out your contacts.

And that boys and girls, is all I have for now.  I'm sure in a few more months I'll have more brilliant advice to give...I know you're thrilled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm off to do laundry. Kill me now.

Oh by the way..want to know what's more annoying than folding adult socks??

FOLDING BABY SOCKS!! So tiny and impossible to match and ball up. 

;fghfdghfdijgoasirjtad;'slkf'd;slkf.

This is how we clean house together!

Pdizzle wore her Halloween costume to school!

Boots with the furrrrrr......

And here's a little video of our little babytard!

2 comments:

  1. Great advice...I will def. be saving this for when I pop out dizzles of my own :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Anywhoozle. Do what you think is best for your little nugget and don't worry about what other people have to say."

    YES. Number one best piece of advice EVER.

    ReplyDelete