February 12, 2012

do's & don'ts

If you aren't already aware of my job as a Massage Therapist, I'm about to dedicate a whole post to it! 

Yippee!!!!!!!

What? Not excited?

**crickets chipping......**

Turns out that since I'm back at work everyday from 9-5, that's the only thing I have to talk about right now.  No news on the babe.  No news on the hubs.  Just work.

Everyday all day I massage people.  

Some big, some small, some weird, some smelly (!), some old, some annoying sorority girls, some guys who have been forced to come because their girlfriend booked a surprise massage for their 3 month anniversary.

I've literally worked on every type of person God ever ever EVER created.  Which has led me to some pretty helpful tips for all you heathens who ever question your spa-going-woes.

.............

1) Your massage therapist doesn't care if you forgot to shave your legs before coming.  Honestly, either don't shave for a long time (you know, get past the prickly stage!) so it's soft, or shave 30 seconds before walking through the door.  Prickly legs hurt my hands!

2) Nobody cares that you haven't had a pedicure in 14 months.  First off, to be a MT you can't have a foot phobia.  People love a good foot massage and to me, it's the best part and what I always end the massage with.  I generally don't get grossed out by peoples feet.  It's nothing a little warm water and Dial soap can't fix!

3) If you book a deep tissue massage, that's a fine and dandy.  You'll get a deep tissue.  But where I work we sell Buy One Get One free Swedish Massage gift cards, so I mainly just do Swedish.  But I have some crazy folks comin' up in there saying, "You can go deeper, you can't hurt me I promise!"

Ummmm...first off, it's a Swedish massage.  Second, I can hurt you if I'd like to.

(FYI: Swedish massage is light to medium pressure.)

4) Don't call your MT a masseuse.  Like, ever.  That's like calling your hair stylist a beautician.  

Back in the day- which was a Wednesday- I'm sure you did call them masseuse's and beauticians.  

Not not peeps.  Not now.

5) If you're ever wondering if your MT wants to talk, the answer is YES! HECK YES! I love when my clients talk! Can you imagine being in a room for 5-6 hours a day massaging people who don't say a word? 

Trust me, by my 4th client I'm dead.  

By the end of the day I literally can not produce one single brain cell because I've been silent for 5 hours straight.  

6) To answer most peoples question of,"don't your hands hurt from massaging all day?" 
SSHHHYYEEAAAHH! My hands, my arms, my elbows, my back, my feet, my freakin' brain...you name it- it hurts! 

7) Just because you're about to get a massage and get all oily and greasy does not mean you can come to your appointment right after working out! This rule also applies to people who just got over a bad sunburn and are peeling! 

Peeling skin + massage= little skin flakes all over my hands and the sheets.

8) Most places require clients to fill out an intake form.  It asks questions about your health and injuries.  If you list that your L5 & L6 are herniated disks, you have migraines, you had rotator cuff surgery, you have Fibromyalgia, you have a pinched nerve, and have arthritis then.... 
YOU OBVIOSLY NEED A WHOLE BODY TRANSPLANT!!!!!!

Not a massage! People will seriously come in with 538 problems and then think that one massage will heal them..I'm not the Lord...just little ol' Lindsay!

9) Turn your phones off!

last and most importantly...muy importante my amigos....

10) TIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 The only reason you shouldn't tip is if the massage was absolutely horrible! I can't tell you how many clients have gone on and on about how it was the best massage they're ever had..and then they don't tip. I always look forward to my clients who tip..and I will usually give them an extra 5 minutes or a neck or foot massage! Sometimes the tip is $5 and sometimes it's $20..I'd say an average tip is $10-15 though! 

So, there you go...hopefully that will answer some questions that some of you have been pondering on!

Or not.

But I had nothing else to write about.

This is also a good time to talk about the other type of massage I just started doing! I got trained in Ashiatsu (bar therapy) and I am starting to take clients this coming up week! It consists of my and my chubby little self walking on my clients! It's a lot of fun for me, and perfect for anyone who likes very deep pressure! If you're in Tuscaloosa and want to try it out, then let me know!

Obviously not me..but you get the idea!

I'll be back in a few days with Presley's 7 month update!

3 comments:

  1. Good tips!!!!

    I need a massage so bad!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good tips :)
    I've yet to go get a professional massage, even tho hubs and I have coverage for at least 1 each... One may be in order this pregnancy is killin my bod lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. You crack me up BUT now I feel super bad, because I've gotten two massages before and never thought to tip :( I will make sure to make up for it next time!!

    ReplyDelete